Law Clerk on Gilligan's Island
Chapter 13- Christmas
T'was
a week plus 'til Christmas, and here in Palau
the holiday mood had escaped me somehow.
I needed some sign that would help me to know
that Christmas was here in the absence of snow.
It wasn't that Christmas had
passed Palau by,
to the contrary, seasonal spirits were high.
Businesses decked themselves out with so many lights,
it often was hard to tell daytime from night.
But still, there was something that seemed to be lacking
that failed to convince me that Santa was packing.
(Even the Court's decoration lacked proof,
with a big plastic Santa stuck up on the roof.)
It's just hard to think about trimming the trees
when every day outside is 90 degrees.
Now, there have been events that
I might have construed
as intended to evoke a holiday mood.
The Court threw a party for all of the staff,
with a custom intended to yield a good laugh.
Lulu, the clerk, put us all on a list,
we'd pick a someone's name and give them a gift.
I got someone named "Donald," and clerking he does,
but I had no idea of just which one he was.
I heard all the names of them back in September,
but within a few days, I just couldn't remember.
Jill and Stephanie both had problems the same--
they had both picked out unfamiliar names.
We spent quite a while trying to guess who was who,
until finally I gave up and just asked Lulu.
Seven days before Christmas, the
party was had,
and my gift-giving performance was, frankly, quite sad.
Having no clear idea just what Donald could use,
I went with the gift of default-- I bought booze.
Others, however, had not been so lame,
and had put some actual thought to the game.
Whoever picked me, I say, gets an award,
for giving me a very cool storyboard.
(Palau handicrafts, for which, by the way,
gullible tourists will handsomely pay.
They're "legends" pictorially carved into wood,
and actually, some of them look very good.
The story on mine, as far as I see,
is the tale of "the Magic Breadfruit Tree."
Some gal had a tree which would magically spurt
all the fish she could eat (alas, never desert).
Her neighbors got jealous and hacked the thing down,
but the trunk spouted water and everyone drowned.
The moral, I think, of a story that tragic:
if you cut down a tree, make sure it ain't magic.)
The party at Court was a very
nice gesture,
but still didn't excuse the very hot weather.
Try as I might, I just couldn't feel
like the holiday season was now here for real.
Then this past weekend, Steph and
I went to dive,
and coming back home, got surprised on the drive.
After booking the dive, Steph had been quite dismayed
to find out we'd miss the big Christmas parade.
Apparently, this was an annual treat,
and Steph was convinced that the concept was neat.
But on our way home, it had yet to pass by,
so we pulled off the road and then stood on the side.
Within minutes, the first
"float"came into view--
a big white pickup, but something was askew:
wrapped in a giant grass skirt Polynesian,
the truck was intended to honor the season.
A sign on the side said that some local business
was wishing Palau a real Merry Christmas.
In the back sat women with buckets of sweets
for the squadrons of little kids lining the streets.
They tossed the loot out with such reckless disdain,
that it fell on both sides of the truck just like rain.
The kids scurried 'round trying to pick up the stuff,
but simply were not moving quite fast enough.
For as soon as the first truck had rumbled on by,
here came the Seabees, who let more treats fly.
They had Santa Claus in the back of their ride,
with camo-clad "elves" flanking him on each side.
The next truck that rolled by had another Saint Nick
(I personally thought that just one did the trick.)
A "sleigh" and "reindeer" also garnished this one
and a sign advertising "Surangel & Sons."
Then came several more trucks, a
Santa on each,
and an "elf" on a scooter who threw Steph a peach.
(It was really an orange, but I don't have to time
to preserve all the facts and yet still have this rhyme.)
And the next thing I knew, the parade was complete,
leaving piles of candy and gum in the street.
On the way home, Steph said she thought it cute
to see all these kids with their bags full of loot.
Ok, the parade, I'll grant you,
was quaint,
but evocative of Christmas is sure as hell ain't.
There's something not right in this tropical setting
to look up at Santa, and see him there sweating.
Stringing palm trees with lights was a valiant attempt
but without some tall pine trees, I just felt contempt.
| This whole holiday
was just all seeming wrong, and as Christmas grew closer, that feeling grew strong. I desperately needed some omen of proof, (more than the monstrosity on the Court's roof) to persuade me that Christmas was finally here, and to fill up my Grinch-like heart with some cheer. But by now, it's already Decem. twenty-second, and it's time to give up on this season, I reckon. |
 |
Then on Tuesday at work, at the
end of the day,
a trip to the mailbox yielded more dismay.
No holiday cards bearing Christmas relief,
just a motion for more time to file a brief.
I dropped it with Steph, who handles such stuff,
and, cursing the holidays, left in a huff.
On the way to my office, I
suddenly spied,
a package that couldn't help catching my eye.
There in the hallway in front of the door
was a box, not there when I'd walked by before.
And more to the point, the box's design
was something that stuck in the back of my mind. . .
And then, from my throat, a great
cry arose.
Involuntarily, I shouted "my clothes!"
There, after waiting for three months exact,
were the clothes that I had oh-so-long ago packed.
They smelled a bit musty from such a long trip,
which brought them across the Pacific by ship.
(In Plattsburgh, the Post Office made a mistake,
forgetting to use the "Priority" tape.
So the day that I mailed the box three months ago,
it went in the pile destined for the boat.)
Practically on the eve of
Christmas, they'd arrived,
I thought they were lost, but to my surprise.
Inside the box were dozens of "gifts,"
all just for me, and all of them fit.
I pawed through the contents of it for a while,
then looked up at Stephanie and Jill with a smile.
And before I could notice, it happened so fast,
I'd found my Christmas spirit at last.
This chapter uploaded on 12/24/98.
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